So I was reading this boudoir photography article in Playboy of all places (a photography client had shared it on my Facebook, no idea how she found it) but it pretty much accurately describes the experience that all my boudoir photography clients go through. You should totally check it out-it’s not only accurate it’s hilarious.
Most women would come in to my studio having not felt very beautiful or sexy in a long time. They might have put on some weight, perhaps have had their body change over the years or after the “miracle” of childbirth- whatever the reason-they just are not happy in their own skin.
Women over time become complacent with that feeling, telling themselves it’s a part of growing up or growing older- they think to themselves- “How can I possibly look sexy when I look like this?” and I have to say…now that I am living in MY post-baby-body I finally understand firsthand how that feels.
That doesn’t mean it’s ok. It’s not ok. There’s many ways you can deal with this: you can change your diet, start exercising more, drink more water and maybe even talk to someone professionally about your feelings. Those are all really good ideas actually- any one of them (or especially if you do ALL of them) over time you will definitely feel a 180 switch and you’ll be healthier for it. It will however take a lot of effort and time.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, but we want gratification NOW right?!!! So how can you possibly feel that way about yourself in as little as one hour? A Pinup/Boudoir Photography session. I found it actually helps motivate women as it totally shifts their perspective on themselves.
A lot of women would contact me preemptively or buy a package on a group-buy site and tell me “Once I ___ I will book a shoot with you” ____ = loose so many pounds, become a size whatever, etc etc. And I would insist: “Just come in now, this can be your ‘Before’ shoot and it will actually motivate you, I swear!”
Everyone comes in somewhere between slightly nervous to downright terrified. EVERYONE. No matter what they look like. Many women come in thinking something like “I’m a sex-positive, body-positive, fun-loving feminist.” But the truth is that although they know they’re supposed to love themselves at any size, cherish their beauty and be proud of who they are-they are far more accepting of others’ bodies than their own.
If you choose the right photographer (not just on price, but on their style: both photographs and atmosphere) they will ensure that you are 100% comfortable. I personally would create an all-female (Girl Power!) environment that was professional but also fun and casual. I would chat with my clients about who they planned let see the photos, etc etc. We’d tell dirty jokes maybe, dish out our partners or gush about their kids and all of a sudden they weren’t “trying to be sexy” they were just having a great time. Once they were relaxed and having a blast that inner goddess just shone right through.
A Pinup or boudoir shoot gives you an excuse to:
- treat yourself to a new dress/outfit/lingerie set
- get your hair/makeup/nails done
- focus on yourself and have some fun
- get some photos of YOU for a change
Any good boudoir photographer will have loads of fun props, jewelry, etc to play with, and it really helps you take your mind off of how you look. Plus they will be getting you to do fun but sometimes hard poses and somehow you’ve got to do this bit of acting where you pretend like that’s just the way you look when you’re alone in your room. This too, makes it impossible for you to focus on how you look. Then they’ll give you some sneak peeks of how you look “SOC” or straight-out-of-the-camera before they do any editing or touch ups. You’ll see yourself in a whole new light.
In this Playboy article Sara says: “By the end of the shoot, I’d had so much damned fun I’d forgotten my weight, my height, my BMI, and how many calories I’d taken in that day. I’d forgotten my earlier awkwardness and my reticence to pose in my panties and bra. I’d forgotten to hate myself for having a perfectly normal body. I’d forgotten everything but the thrill of embodying the classic, sultry archetype of the pin-up girl.” and having now done literally hundreds of boudoir shoots I can tell you that my clients say pretty much the same thing before they even leave my studio. Every. Single. Time.
After all that you might need a little extra push. So let’s just say: “You need new a profile pic for social networking or your business portfolio, or these photos would be the perfect to give your partner for Valentine’s Day”. Let’s say “this doesn’t need to be a lingerie shoot, just bring your favorite outfit and we’ll take headshots”. Really just bring the damn lingerie. Just in case. Maybe you’ll surprise yourself.
*For inspiration you can check out my portfolio HERE and there’s a link at the top for testimonials from normal ladies like yourself as well.